iT’sAlLiNyOuRmInD

How am I supposed to know what’s right or wrong?

I’m living life just as everyone else

But everyone else – you – you’re all as nothing

And everything being nothing makes energy as everything

Thus, since everything is energy, everything is nothing

 

Without motion

Without emotion

We cannot move

 

It’s my turn and I cannot go

Because I am parked in the parking-lot by the park

I’ll be taking aim shorty

At the pork, but please, you’ll have to be patient

 

Surgery is….

 

Illogical

Contradictory

History

It’s illiteracy

It’s all in your mind.

 

I L-L-L…

This is my saddest attempt to try something new

The line before really was written in cursive

I was simply trying to spice up my day; to try something new

But it didn’t really help – it even hurt a little bit

Nothing is new, and my poetry runs dry

It was destiny for me to be insane, I can see it in the sky

No time to rhyme, nor reason to express; zero consent

I wonder how many feel this

Rather, how many care?

You may read, but can you hear?

I go… nowhere

Just like that, my mood flips and turns

And upon my return, muy mind rejects concern

My mistake is, where, where

Who’s there?

You, there

Truth-slayer

Tooth-decayer

Why did you bring me to you lair?

I’ve always given you my all – my robe, even my hair

This is, is so, so unfair

Lost in word

Infrastructure in smile, congruent to tile

Thought is vile, but only for a little while

So smile; so sorry, I’m running out of room on the page

Which means an idea will too, give birth

I guess this is my finale for the night

I L-L-Love you and that’s that to say

Your name, your aim is to burn by the flame

Your game, is to be played until the end of days

I’m out of words

Thank you

 

M% Ten-Percent

This sleek glass, oh how it slices through my flesh with ease

The painted salvation, it calms my mind

It leaves my body at peace

 

I dig canals all around just to designate

A worthless pizza-purpose

Which is baked with hate

 

Red, red hats are red in my head

My head is red.

 

Newer Beginnings

It’s getting difficult to write

I don’t even know why I feel like this

What do know, though, is that I need to let it all pour out

Even if it feels dull now, my writings have given me a title

I’m still a nothing, but I’ve touched the lives around me

Again, no names, but I don’t know why I’ve treated you like this

You’ve been there for me when no one else was

Words cannot express my gratitude towards you

I’m still the one who suffers inside, regardless if you feel it

Or see the carnage; my mind is making me a savage

Will I devour the flesh after the razor equally portions it?

Is it too late?

Can it all be saved?

Am I destined to be a slave to an unproductive environment?

Enslaved is what I am, indeed

Loneliness what I feel, indeed

The pain is inside, I’m here, but no one is there to heal

Not even you, my sunlight

Why are things this way?

Why do we live this way?

Is my love destined to be a double-edged sword?

The ends puncture my soul twice

If my love is to be a double-edged sword, then this would be yet another time

The second time; I’m keeping count

I’m the poison in peoples’ lives

Everyone that I love, I push away as a projection of my insecurities

I’m not afraid to say what’s wrong with myself, unlike everyone else

That’s why I subconsciously left myself alone

But of this, I’m consciously aware

My late nights are interrupted by the voices

Deception even labels the themes of my dreams

I can’t stop the screams

Or so it seems

I’ve stood by and watched people turn their backs

People that I loved rejected me of hugs

I fell even when I thoughts I was above the drama

At times, I couldn’t speak with or see my mommy

But after dad left, we lived with mom’s mom

And mom’s daddy and brother, my uncle

I now lived with my grandparents for a while

And as a child, watched them slowly pass away

To this day, I pray for a better way

So now, I continue to write

I keep writing until my sight orders from the menu of ink I bite

My pen was my only friend, and still is

I remember being poor as kids, but we always managed to get by

We managed to eat because our hopes were to the sky

Mom did her best to keep us fed, so it hurt when food was thrown

She chose to do this on her own; we cried when we were shut down

Smiles were forced upside down, but life would soon turn around

Better days would come

Money was always a trap, but drugs were never slung

Mom would place bruises on my flesh, so the government became involved

The problem was never solved

It was only prolonged

All I ever wanted was love and peace and to get along

With my family and peers while trying to stay strong

But all I ever managed to do was lose count of the tears

Forever was I wrong – the future was unclear

It would be without mom for a while

Mommy and dad were gone, but replaced by new

The news was anew family, fostered with care

I gradually grew wiser as length subjected my hair

A new life

Second grade in a new school with new rules

A chance to meet new people, but I only met new lustful fools

Nothing was new

Still received hatred from a false crew

Who are you?

I’ve dated my fate for a few years

What else was there to do?

Two years after a new year, a new home with old fears

Dad fought to take custody of his kids

His newwife, nice at first, but so too would hit

Not too often, but often out of angered fits

Now the paranoia never quits

My patience runs dry

My treasures are laid out beyond the skies, but lived in someone else’s lies

To a mother on steps, I said what was felt

I said what I meant, but dad again left me to myself

He is a womanizer and no matter what, sides with his wife

He failed to realize that I, his son, was a purpose in his life

Dad once said that he didn’t care what I felt

Then he said he was my best friend and was always there to help

Best friend?

No friend

Please leave me alone

When I gave you a chance to hear, you hung up your phone

Not literally, but still as a stone when engaged in communication

Ever since, no one understood that hurt that I was facing

It has me pacing and tracing the thoughts that I think

At a cluster of blinks, I begin to forgive and then sink

Dad, I love you and am forever appreciative for what you’ve done

Even after you placed a wicked woman over your kids

You will NEVERunderstand me because I’ve closed all of my doors

You can try, but my connection with you is no more

And for my step mom, I forgive

I don’t call it a grudge, just a memoir for as long as I live

In “your” house, it was a matter of respect

Knowledge is what I will always collect

You demand this respect, but refuse to give at times

I don’t care who you are, I promise to get mine

You can threaten to kick me out of the house, like you did my brother

I’ll leave this hole and prove that there is no other

Person like me, so I promise you will see

You’re a shallow-minded beast and need to find your way

And for all of the people that have left my side

I hope that you acquire eternal joy

I hope that you never feel what I’ve felt

My heart is broken and I’m picking up the pieces

When I do, I’ll smile again

I’ll regain the trust and again call you a friend

This is another dedication to all of the people of my past

I will be happy, but again will it get worse

The hurt won’t last in a hearse

It’ll again get better

And even if the rain gets me wetter…

I still forgive and love you…

Even after this letter.

 

Malicious Key and Blade

Is the a must?

Nor so and it flows this crust

Let it the am a what river, you are

So far, but WHY is the true to bar?

Sense is as but represents who are, me they are

Me, me, me the so it does more than can come

Or if it am, then so can where they do cannot go

Just go if letting is setting a know, a fact to go and let

But forget that the is that and understands what I am

I am a word, or two

But do as a can of span for you

 

Dear Letter

Dear… I know who,

My future wouldn’t have existed without you digging through my life. You see, I’m cornered by the corners of my residency. This leaves my mind lonely at times, between the ocean blue. One, two… three four. Four walls. Two… exits. Either a leisure passage using stairs or a fatal fall from the window with the stained glass. Hm, my point is that I’m buried… because of… you. I’m what I’d like to call a “thinker.” The purpose of other souls doesn’t concern me. You see, I’m really a madman. But, I’m not mad, man. Yeah… you just couldn’t resist listening to those… those… ehh! Don’t make me angry as I write this! You really, really don’t wanna’ see me when I’m upset. Promise. Not again. Oh, I almost forgot! This future of mine, it’s very unstable. Without your guidance and valuable motivation, there will be nothing at all. The space of a hidden truth will surely be broadened. Don’t do this to me, please, not now. I cannot afford to lose you now. You’re too precious to me. I will maintain awareness, however. Thank you, but never forget.

Sincerely,

You know who…

 

The Grass is Greener

Lord, this is my best method of communication

I cannot focus in tongue as I’m growing numb

Is this Your test or evil at its best?

These words, Lord, they fall upon deaf ears

The thoughts are clear, but these letters always seem to disappear

When she’ s near, You know who, as to no clue

But her name and Your name are heard in vain

Trials were designed to shun my shine

At times, but always gives me lines to climb

Gray lines are seen as silver-platter ladders

Heavy steel is fatter and chrome roams to the splatter

Blood on these streets

Blood on these hands

Mud on these sheets

You wont’ understand

Deals are under hand

Night-night, night – I gave you my bowl

The stories are old, but you know what was foretold

The beats cease when it’s time to clean the ducts of defeat

Suggest and action and I will partake

Send me a sign so I know that You care

I know You do, but my naturalism needs a reminder

I was forced to disfigure the solitudes in confinement

A prayer can be heard from the quietest of voices

We’re given choices to help guide us to Your appointment

You know what I mean

Once more, folding of knee

I still beg for a better day, just show me the way

I’d do as You say, but please, may the love stay?

Okay, this is my conclusion

I’ll follow the light; always winning and never losing

I take your wings, green dragonfly

To greener grasses, we fly

 

Forehead of the Jaguar

A melody of your leverage is upon the basements

Call the yellow to orange to dead bracelets’ rings

Seize the tendons and movement of bones

That single joint is then forever alone

But these Blood-Vein filled arteries are a part of me

The wolf sits in the moonlit snow

To and fro

Ear to toe

None by side

None to coincide

So come inside

The darkness waits for you

Once you walk out of that door, there will be no looking back

Let the tears stack; may the chains roar

No more, no more

Dare not plead me more

A restless escape is forever to shake the thoughts I bore

Just a few things in storage, I felt the need to write

The endless walk in my future is outlined in chalk

Allow the pair of pears to reunite

It has been such a long time since they’ve met

Did the helicopter soar, OR did it forget?

That there are those chains in which I’m bonded

My mind is lost and I still haven’t fount it

Nor do I care to

Measure what I care to do

The fullest of potential is sequential despair

The worst nightmare stares at me too, to you

It is the sheet on the bed and the numeral of courage

To see, with an R and a T

As a tree but with no sound of sea

Now you will begin to see

That one of two equals three

I’m willing and I’m able

Frozen motion, sit still

Help me break out of this fable

Collect the ash of burned wills

Sit still, silent jaguar

Your forehead is hidden in the brush

May there be peace and love and above all, trust

 

Within Reach is the Dirt

These notes, they aid through the toughest of time

And their chime, they heal the wounded flesh

Once the shadow was retracted, all that was left was a crying note

It was dumped by Heart Village, but was eventually stolen

 

Morbid thief, you look in my eyes and deny responsibility

Look to see what you’ve done to me

What is seen cannot even be believed

Speculating eyes are the only asset of sheep

 

A flattened line or two for the weak through the week

Anger will beget anger and the result will deplete patience

For as long as you’re waiting, the dealings will never rest in peace

Only deadly pieces for the humble wrists will apologize

 

Even years after you seek, you will never realize

But for the ghost of memory, may the barricaded sheds bleed

Hidden in the woods is a phantom of diplomacy which collects the fallen drops

A unit of storage behind the curtains is what is certain for the unholy fates

 

Given is what you take

Understand the realities of insanity

Kites of mind are turbulent in the screaming storms whilst slumber rests

A pickled response, I drown in what you’ll get

 

 

 

 

The Wheels on the River

It shouldn’t take this long for the flowers to deliver

You’re my, you’re, you’re my end

Please, cat stick, don’t pretend

You are not a quitter, nor a sitter

You pounce on existence and constrict ways-a -better

You told me the dirty rudders would unclutter

But this heh’ boat, yeah, she rolls on mystic water

And she flies to the land of wheels in concrete stature

Here, the engine is healed and instilled with turmOIL

But this is not all

It is a given a pedal that makes sure to go on

To recline, and to define the compass’s state of mind

Most certainly, navigation is undermined in due time

However, the roads, as well as airs, are cleared